Billable O's: What It Means To Be A Sex Consultant In D.C.

Being a sex consultant requires props.

It’s rare to see Reba the Diva without her collection of sex toys, which she rolls into rooms in a black box that looks like a fishing kit on wheels.

At a February presentation about using toys with partners, she’s performative as she explains the functions of various vibrators. One goes “buzzbuzzbuzzbuzzbuzz,” she says, while another goes “buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.” She says that she tests all of the toys before adding them to what one attendee jokingly calls her “petting zoo” of products.

In comparing the powers, functions, and feels of the toys, Reba shares her personal experiences with them—which positions are best for stimulation, the different ways to use them. The conversation moves from logistics to a stickier wicket: how women can introduce these pleasure products into the bedroom without making their partners feel insecure or inadequate.

Like so many others in the region, Reba Thomas is a consultant (a cursory LinkedIn search of consultants in the metro area comes up with more than 200,000 results.) Unlike the people who work for Deloitte, McKinsey, or other government-adjacent firms, she is a “sexpert consultant” who goes by “Reba the Diva.”

She meets one-on-one with clients looking to learn about sex and seduction and holds sessions on introducing kink or anal play into a relationship, in addition to teaching her flagship blowjob classes and hosting bachelorette parties.

Like any good consultant, sometimes she’ll drop acronyms (ike “PIV,” which means “penis-in-vagina” sex) into everyday conversation. She’s had some training from the Indiana University's Center for Sexual Health Promotion, and constantly reads up about new sexuality studies. She quotes Masters and Johnson and Esther Perel in her workshops.

But the biggest weapon in her arsenal is her ability to make people feel comfortable talking about what they want.

“Honestly, we can all Google how to give head and we can get the Cosmo articles and the blogs about what people experience,” Reba says over lunch. “But really, people want to know that they're quote unquote normal and also, that they're doing the best that they can.”

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